I have really enjoyed my food today. I had a light breakfast of string cheese and dried apricots and weighed in at 149.6 pounds (down 2.4 already). For lunch, I stir fried some of the salad from last night in olive oil and had it with a sliced organic Granny Smith apple and an Asian pear. It was all delicious and satisfying.
But then I was discussing plans for this afternoon with a friend, and she mentioned that she was going to grab some food before coming over. My nasty habits kicked in and I practically begged her to go out for fast food with me - after all, if you're out with a friend it's excusable, right?
I used to do this all the time. In high school I had a friend who would always stop for McDonald's chicken nuggets when we went out. I would pretend I didn't want anything, but he knew me well enough to get extras to share. We'd eat tons of nuggets with dipping sauces and then I'd go home and have a snack before dinner, and a dessert after.
During previous weight loss attempts I'd always feel sabotaged when my skinny friends went to buffets or ordered Pizza Hut pan pizza. I'd go along, sigh heavily, stuff my face, and come home to eat more. I really thought it wasn't okay for me to order differently. It didn't occur to me to eat beforehand to fill myself up with healthy food, because I was in the habit of eating junk anyway when I was full of healthy food. I even posted on message boards about my problem with friends' eating habits and was hurt when most of the replies told me to take responsibility for myself.
I hate that everyone feels like time with friends means eating out, but I should be happy to have friends who understand that sometimes it's better for your health and wallet to eat at home. Time with friends should be for socializing and having fun, not feeding a food addiction and indulging in unhealthy habits.
Today, I resolve to enjoy my visit without feeling like I need to direct us to the nearest drive through every ten minutes. Wish me luck!
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